My Sincerest Plea for 2024 to be Better Than 23

somehow this inadvertently rhymed (kinda, maybe? not really?) (only if you break the lines) (needless to say this is my worst grammatical skill)

Part of me feels very corny for even thinking about publishing my “resolutions” or goals for this year because they feel incredibly subjective to the feelings I am facing today, exactly right now. Another part of me feels like it may be sharing too much on the internet since these things tend to stay close to the heart and posting them on the internet feels eerily similar to the bad omen that sharing your birthday wish when you blow out your candles brings you. But, on the other hand, the thought of oversharing on the internet has never stopped me before and true fears of corniness stay pretty far outside my realm of reality (otherwise this publication would cease to exist). So, with all that being said, I do think it is semi-refreshing to read someone else’s goals, resolutions, dreams, plans, aspirations, or silly musings about the New Year because it often will inspire some thoughts of your own. A unique trait we possess as human beings is that we can learn from each other (mistakes or otherwise) and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (or so I’m told), so you’re free to steal any of these ideas for yourself all I ask is that you attempt them with just a little more gusto than myself.

I’ve thought a lot about this because resolutions typically feel like pretty unrealistic standards to hold myself to. Instead of feeling like I am constantly failing at something, I would rather develop ideas on a whim that I realize are feasible at that very moment but that sense of accomplishment often isn’t enough to feed my greedy soul. SO, alas, I write down my silly resolutions and come up with ways of betterment and through all the conversations I have with others about this, I develop an even longer laundry list of these things. This year, I have redefined “resolution” as "goal” which automatically makes them seem a little more feasible and takes away (most of) the pressure.

OK, now I’m stalling but, please enjoy and, hopefully, you can share some of your own (that I may graciously borrow <3):

Saying “Sorry” Less

I feel as if this is my goal each and every year. And, each and every year I get *slightly* better, but not as much of a significant improvement as I would ideally like. I jokingly told Mira today that, “to be a woman is to constantly feel guilty for the things you say, the things you do, and the space you take up.” This was only half of a joke because, if I’m being honest, I do feel this way a lot of the time and my little bird body is riddled with guilt as a basis in my day-to-day existance. This is one of the things I’m working on in therapy (obviously) and I think it all comes down to this idea that instead of saying “sorry” there are other ways to practice grace for yourself and the person you are apologizing to. A silly example of this is if you are running late to something (which, this doesn’t apply in ALL circumstances) you could say “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late.” Or, when I’m on one of my little crackhead spirals, instead of “sorry for rambling” saying, “thank you for listening.” My default reaction whenever I feel anyone could be the slighest bit annoyed or upset with me is to say “sorry” with some long winded, word vomit explanation that is really just my own anxieties coming through. The guilt then for my long-winded unnecessary apology eats away at me and it’s this whole big ridiculous cycle that leads back to me and all my big feelings all the time. Ultimately, saying sorry as much as I do takes away the importance of a genuine apology and eventually, I fear, my use of the word “sorry” will become very boy who cried wolf. And, this is pretty ridiculous of me to say, but I have too much confidence in myself and my ability to communicate that I shouldn’t seem to have as low of self-esteem apologizing soooo often.

Eat All 3 PROPER Meals a Day

I don’t think I need to elaborate on this BUT it is tough out there for a girl like me and in this idea of betterment, this seems feasible and realistic and *almost* a no brainer.

Saying “Yes” More, But Realizing That “No” Is a Full Sentence

Reflecting on this last year and my experiences, I’ve come to realize that I tend to stick within my bounds of comfort and routine, and am relatively self-reliant when it comes to people offering me help. This year, I am hoping to be better at accepting and asking for help; saying “yes” more often when it is offered to me. I also think in saying “yes” more, I will be able to push some of these boundaries that I have formed around myself. In years prior, I had plenty of “yes girl” moments where I found myself in some challenging situations. There is deifnitely a fine line of pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone while also maintaining some boundaries and self-preservation. I’ve often times defined the number of times someone says “yes” as their ability to be spontaneous or live life to the fullest, but I think it is important to be intentional with those moments. I want to be a little more spontaneous this year, but also realize that in saying “no” to something or someone, that doesn’t automatically mean I’ve let them down, or upset them. I saw a video from a fake instagram therapist the other day that said “each time you say ‘no’ you are saying ‘yes’ to something/someone else.” This feels only somewhat applicable, but in this context removes some of the guilt I have around the word “no.” My therapist says I have an “outward-in” approach where I am consistently registering everyone elses feelings/emotions before my own. Maybe this is my first step in flipping that?

Going Above 14th Street More

I’ve been known to walk laps across the Williamsburg bridge until my head clears and my body is tired BUT my ventures uptown have nearly become nonexistant. When I was a Midtown native (embarssing to admit on the internet), I was always heading downtown BUT still making sure I went up; to the park, to the Natural History Museum, to some random old deli on the East Side. I was always confused how people didn’t make an effort to enjoy all there is past the threshold of Union Square. However, I sheepishly need to admit that I’ve become one of those people. There technically *is* everything I need downtown, or adjacent to my neighborhood, but I can’t get the full New York experience if I don’t occasionally gift myself with the old money ways of uptown Manhattan.

Editor’s Note: Chelsea doesn’t count as “uptown” so my gallery hopping does not suffice.

Intentional Time With The Ones I Love (And Myself)

I am SUPERB at staying busy. If there was an award for the girly who can fill all her time doing all the things, I would FOR SURE be in the running (but I likely wouldn’t win because I don’t own a business or have my own podcast (yet)). Because of this, I often times find it really hard to jigsaw my schedule in a way that I can give the most of myself, my attention, and my mind to those around me. In years past, I feel like I have had more time for other people and have spread myself so thin with social plans that I, in turn, burnt myself out. This previous year, I was really trying to focus more on that time I have with myself to reset and recalibrate. BUT, then got two side jobs in addition to my full-time job (non-inclusive of writing this newsletter), got into a relationship, and all that time was quickly filled.

Candidly, I have had a pretty difficult time balancing it all and I don’t think I have been the best friend, girlfriend, or daughter because of that struggle. I’ve often felt as if I am “too busy” and when plans are missed, or rescheduled a million times, it has felt pretty defeating. Instead of being more proactive, or following up (like I probably should have), I simply took those moments as a sign and bowed down. This year, I want to water my plants of friendship more! There are so many lovely people and relationships I want to cultivate, new and old friends! I want to make plans and be proactive and follow up and be annoying as hell in doing so to make the time for the people I love and forge new relationships with the people I always say, “I wish xx and I hung out more” because I am really the only one standing in my way.

A lot of this comes down to my comfort in saying “no” to some plans and “yes” to others in order to make time for the people that mean the most to me. I want to be more present than I have been this last year and hold myself more accountable to spending important, intentional time with others and myself. I want to walk around in someone’s head for the day, have mind-blowing conversations about our dreams and goals and hope and admirations, and I want to allow them to step into my universe, experiencing some of my own reality, and feel more and more of the sense of ease that comes with mutual understanding.

Morning Pages

I can already tell this may be one of those things that lasts a week and then becomes “too much” for me. BUT I am desperately trying to feel more creative again and give my brain the workout it needs to grow my vocabulary and be a more functional, intelligent human being. This feels like the first step to me. I have a journal ready and these will be my pre-mouthguard removal thoughts. Something about it feels equally refreshing and intimidating since it is stream of conciousness, but I also think that may be where the most insight will come from.

Brynne and I talked about our goals the other day and she told me one of hers was “protecting her peace.” I have since stolen that, and that’s the umbrella goal for this year as it seems the more and more I explain it, that’s what these all ladder back to.

I wish there were something funny I could say, or some quippy remark about a sillier resolution I had once upon a time (like in 2020 when it was “get a boyfriend” and then the world shut down and it still took 3 years for that to happen) (wow, see, I can still be funny even when I don’t think I’m about to be) BUT the past few years have all been centered around this idea of becoming the best, most genuine version of myself. And, as I am learning how to do this, I am learning to love myself more, gifting the grace I have for others to myself, and ultimately feeling more and more like the carefree kid I once was, which has to be the most refreshing part about this. I was listening to the Glennon Doyle podcast the other morning (another new thing I do)

Happy New Year! Thank you AGAIN for reading and supporting this little passion project of mine <3 I cry thinking about all the people I know (and don’t know) who support me in such a tangible way.

xoxo, Delaney